wait wait wait wait! before you unsubscribe. (laughing) i'm dyeing it back in two weeks, okay? i feel like before i even get into the video i have to address the fact that i have pink hair i don't know, i've always, always wanted pink hair. like, my entire life, i've wanted to just do it once, i wanted to just say "fuck it". i don't want it to be any other hair color, because i know it's not going to look good. blonde me is a thing. i look like michael jackson with any other hair color. it's like, holiday break right now. i have to grow out my hair anyways 'cause of my scalp — just tana things, tana problems. i can't bleach my scalp until january, right before i go on tour, so i've been having to grow out my roots, and i was like, "you know what while i have roots and while i'm not doing anything to my hair, i'm just going to say fuck it, and i'm going to dye it pink." so i took my happy ass to hot topic today. -laughing- and i bought some pink hair dye and now
my hair is pink. i did it myself also to my hairdresser you don't know this is happening. you might be watching this i'm really sorry. i just know she is mad. she is going to deck me in the fucking face. next time she see me. she always tells me to never do anything to my hair. but yeah, it's semi-permanent and as soon as i go back blonde for tour, like, in a month or so i'll be
blonde again. so i thought for a month i would have pink hair, and i'm not going to lie i really fucking like it. and i'm really really really proud of myself for doing something i said i was never going to do. jumping out of my fucking ultimate comfort zone. my ultimate comfort zone is my blonde hair. i'm not even kidding you. that's the one thing
that i, like, consider my comfort zone. so the fact that i have pink hair and i dig it is really fucking cool. wise words of my mother who actually gave birth to me, i actually came out of her pussy, jenna marbles, "life is way too fucking short not to have fun ass hair", so here i am, with fun, pink hair! if you're gonna unsubscribe 'cause my hair's not blonde anymore, just wait a month
just 30 days, like, whatever, like, like me for my personality. go look at my old videos. like, if you're a guy and you're new here, like, and you'd pipe blonde me, just, like, go watch those videos. wait a month, okay? so now [laughs]. hi guys, it's tana mongeau, and i don't know if you guys know this — if you know me, you know this — i fly so much. i just got back from the airport, probably, like,
5 hours ago, and i'm leaving for the airport again in, like, 3 hours. i'm always working i'm always travelling to los angeles i'm always fucking on a plane, going somewhere. like, i literally need my own plane. if there are any sugar daddies out there and you just, like, wanna buy me a plane, like, my business email's below. [laughs] i'm just kidding.
but really, i'm always flying on planes, and i wanted to do this for a while. and if you guys have been here since, like, the beginning, i used to do this series a little more, where i would make a video and i would have a bunch of mini storytimes all in one — like, i'm just telling you, like four or five stories in one video or, like, three or four, whatever. and today i thought it would be really fun
to tell you guys some of my bad flight slash bad airport experiences, all compiled into 1 video. so that's what i'm going to do today. i'm going to tell you guys some bad airport, bad flight attendant, bad plane experience storytimes, and i have some great ones for you. so yeah! before i get into this video, if you have not subscribed, i mean, like, tits,
a story, like, i talk, like, i'm kinda funny, like, maybe you could do it, like, i normally i have blonde hair and i'm, like, fuckable, like, it's, like, a thing, like, you know? subscribe! i'm just kidding. but really yeah, if you haven't subscribed you should subscribe. and if you have subscribed, you should follow all my social media below especially my snapchat and my instagram
because we're close to a million. it would be fun. okay. i'm gonna shut up now. i'm sorry for all of the shameless promo and pink hair and whatever the fuck else i'm talking about. hi. i love you. let's get into the stories. i've never flown spirit airlines. i'm not a fan of spirit airlines i feel like it's in the same classification as allegiant and
allegiant is by far my least favorite airline i don't know if you follow me on twitter it's all i fucking tweet about for like a month on tour my entire to over the last two months every single stop i told the story about how much i hate allegiant airlines, had a bad experience on allegiant airlines, i'll eventually tell that story on camera for
anybody who didn't go to my tour shows but i just fucking hate allegiant airlines it is literally the fucking scum of airlines and spirit airlines is like right there with allegiant. really really cheap flight prices but everything else fucking sucks so that they can compromise for their cheap flight prices if that makes sense. and something that i just
found out about spirit airlines is that the times that they tell you their flights are going to take off at, like let's say you buy a flight for like 7:15 a.m whatever, spirit puts in their fine print that "those times are only a suggestion" a suggestion a suggestion! i don't know if you get what
that means but like basically like every other line like when they say a time they mean it like spirit puts that in their fine print so then when you check their like, i agree box, you're agreeing to the fact that you can buy a flight for 7:15 a.m. and it can leave at 4pm for no reason and you can't get a refund, you can't get on a later flight, you can't
complain, nothing, because the time that they told you they were just suggesting that the plane might leave at that time like that's how shitty of an airline spirit airlines is and that's why i never flew it. but one day i was in los angeles and i had to fly home the next day for a hair appointment. i'm so sorry to my hair lady
again if you're still watching this, she's probably just watching this like, in fucking awe of how much of a dumb bitch i am but like, whatever. i needed to fly on super early i'm talking like 5-6am early so that i could be at my 830am hair appointment the next day and no other airlines had flights early enough so i booked a flight with spirit airlines and
the suggested time was 530am so i get to lax falling asleep in the fucking chair i get on the plane and they don't have like first-class it's all just like one plane of like the most smushed together seats you'll ever see it's like three tiny assets like no armrests nothing all smushed together in a row so i went ahead and got the very
first seats on the road because they have like the big seat as the very first row instead of three seats must enroll it's only to sow the seeds like normal size it's a little bigger it reclines a little bit more it's just like one tiny baby step up from like their shitty seats i wouldn't even call it a step i'm
calling a tow i got those seats though so i was sitting in the very front row and so now we get into the story time i just want to give you guys a little consensus so as i'm boarding the plane the flight attendant always stands at the very beginning of the plane to like greet you before you sit down so it's 535 a.m. and the sun hasn't even began
to like rise i am fucking exhausted like don't speak to me don't look at me don't read this thing areas we don't fucking cough around me give you a baby fucking choke it i don't want to be looked at like that's how fucking tired im and so i'm walking out of the plane i'm like my eyes are like
closed and all of a sudden i hear good morning welcome to spirit airlines and i'm just like it's five thirty five in the morning like you're really that fucking happy to be here and doing your job and i know i'm sitting here criticizing like how happy someone is but like fuck bitch where like are you on coke are you on speed or are you on adderall, are you on redbull like how are you that
like fuck hi i love my job and you work for spirit airline and i was like why are you that happy and so i say nothing to her because i would just like like i nodded my head i tried to open my eyes i tried to be respectful but that's all i could muster and so as i'm walking away i hear you're not going to say goodmorning back literally like back
like are you a mess like where is your crack spoon holy fuck, so i turn around and i'm like good morning and then i'm walking my feet and she's like that's better and i'm like gonna be a long fly so i sit down in my seat the rest of the plane boards as the plane is boarding she's walking up and down the aisles
just monitoring things that people are doing she was absolutely one hundred percent one of those people that are just so obsessed with doing their job perfectly and so obsessed with like being meticulous and like anal and my crazy like she literally masturbates that night to like how she can be a better flight attendant and i'm like
those people i get it you're an overachiever like that's amazing but fuck like it's a 5:35 in the morning you work with spirit airlines like why do you care this much i feel like if i worked for spirit airlines and it was 5:35 in the morning i'll be like just crashed the fucking plane like and i jumped out like i don't i didn't get the mindset
opening the overhead compartments like turning people's luggage like a 90-degree angle so that it's like in the overhead compartment perfectly like walking up to people and taking their headphones out of their ears so that they are prepared to listen to the safety announcement getting in people's personal fucking space to take the
safety booklet out turn it around so it's like facing the right way like in the seatback pocket walking up to people and like forcing them to chug their drinks so that like they don't spill while taking off and like that's not even a rule like you're allowed to have drinks while taking out like what the fuck she wants them to this kid with a
skateboard and is like so i see you have a skateboard i need like yeah and she's like rule 38 of spirit airlines prohibit skateboards being actively open on a plane you're going to put in your carry-on go ahead and go outside the death can check it and he's like security let me take it like this it's all i have
i don't have a carry-on or checked bag actually looks at me like well then you can't fly can you and then he kept trying to talk me like it's literally all i have like i'll put in the overhead compartment like although check and just let it like rollout of the security that's what you want as she keeps interrupting him being like a rule
38 prohibit 38 prohibits spirit airlines rule 38 prohibits that you take a skateboard openly on the plane and literally made this human being get off of the plane and not fly so finally she resumed her little position in the front of the plane prepared to give the safety announcement is
literally standing there waiting for the safety announcement like shit to come on and she's standing like this like posing for the fucking announcement at five thirty in the morning like are you sane like where is your fucking sanity like this is all she had ok one hundred percent of the ceo spirit airlines would fucking come at this
bitch because like she literally was like a robot so right before she's about to do a little announcement like she's literally standing there like this she looks at me because i'm sitting in the seat right in front of her because i mean like the front row seat i'm sitting there on my phone because you don't have the fucking put your phone on airplane
mode until the plane is like taking off and like im a fucking rebel and i never put my phone on airplane mode i just let myself lose service i text all the way till i have no service i've always done it i like answer calls that as the place like landing i don't probably gonna die early anyway so i'm not here like actively trying to like to
save my life by putting it on airplane mode and like honestly if a fucking plane that can propel itself like in the air is going to crash because my phone isn't on airplane mode let it burn let's go im ready so sitting on my phone texting and i'm texting my hair lady like what time im going to land like something it was something like decent
important and those things are looking at my phone and all of a sudden i feel fucking mrs. spirit cock in her mouth this close to my face i'm sitting there on my phone and i just feel my phone leaving my hands don't touch my fucking phone i will slit your fucking throat that giant that people i'm like one
of the most giant pet fucking kives of mine in all of life don't touch my fucking phone or i will touch your fucking firstborn child for the hands with mystical like i hate when people drive on my manager jordan like my best friend my family he's never touched my phone and like get angry about that like to visit i hate it
i'm a sauce ass bitch i have a lot of fucking happiness but really like don't touch my fucking phone i will touch your fucking house with gasoline and a fucking match like a donut right now and so she grabbed my phone and i look up and i'm like literally and she's like i'm sorry i thought your phone was supposed to be on
airplane mode my dad and i'm like everybody's just have to put it on your facebook and fucking slick so really i was just about to put it on airplane mode but i'm sorry and she's like well let's not let this happen again you wouldn't want to be stuck in la that's what you look at my phone like my text messages are like on
my phone like the text i'm typing swipes up puts it on airplane mode and as forcefully as humanely possible like literally like borderline hurt my hand goes and like slaps it back into my hand and goes back to her little spirit airlines fucking position and then she goes are doing the safety announcement and the entire time during the safety
announcement if anyone is sleeping stops the safety on announcement to go wake them up if anyone has headphones will walk to the back of the plane stops the safety announcement takes the headphone now all of these people that are doing these things she's warning like if they do it again they're gonna have to get off of the flight literally delays the
flight like we're supposed to land at six-thirty and we landed like 720 because she kept stopping the safety announcement to like make sure people were paying attention so that the plane takes off and the entire rest of the flight like waking sleeping people to ask if they want drinks getting in people's face like push their carry-ons
further under their seats asking people to quietly halt their baby from crying because it is disturbing others i can you stop your baby we're going without having like babies but like what are you doing give it an actually i don't know plane lands literally is stopping by everyone it's like giving their trash being like
make sure to take this off the plane cycle fucking minutes everyone gets off she's reading them like to thank you my spirit airlines they have a spirited day i get off the plane and i will never fucking fly suggested time as crack spoon flight attendants weird airlines again and so the last one happened very recently and this is a
very brief story i talked about on you now and i think it's not about to stop my talking on twitter it was a fucking thing is the first time i've ever been on a plane and literally thought i was going to die and i actually like bought the wi-fi in two minutes to text my mom like i love you so much i hope nothing happens to me
like that literally like that was how i was feeling so i'm going out of italy southwest flight love southwest flight love southwest airlines fuckin sponsor me plz like use cocaine and check out like five dollars off sponsored so i'm sitting on this plane and every time that we take off to vegas from southwest you take off like into the united states
like from california into nevada why would you fly the other way like in devotion like it makes no fucking sense i've slow this light like a million times immediately after sitting down i look out the window and the plane is not facing the normal we're in like the normal place that is normally when i sit
on the plane look out the window like whatever like i think nothing of it all is that in the plane takes off and i was thinking i'm like we were facing like the ocean what are we going to take off into the ocean like i don't i don't get it and my number-one like fear of dying other than being burned alive i guess
would be drowning i am terrified of a plane crashing in the water i'm honestly not terrified at all really of a plane like crashing in the ground like burning because like the second plane crashes you died upon impact if you don't die the plane burst into flames and you're dying like two fucking seconds it's not really like that miserable of a death
and are really afraid not but i am terrified of a plane crashing into water and like you dying from drowning in the water like that is just so miserable so terrifying every time i fly over water on a plane i have to close my eyes are closed the window like it's something i'm terrified of it and that definitely didn't help the situation like in the
slightest so i'm sitting there and we're flying towards the beach we're passing the sand for passing the water and all of a sudden were like over the ocean and sitting on my fuck literally like the fuck i am terrify there's no calm like i was like at this point no one was like freaking out yet so much all these people are so fucking probably gonna
fucking die fuck fuck fuck and so then i by the wi-fi i text my mom like i'm gonna die i fucking love you so much like i don't know what i was saying like it was a very french chick moment of panic and so then we're continuing to fly deeper and deeper like into the ocean and then all of a sudden bolin once it felt like every single person on
the plane starts also freaking out and they start screaming getting up out of their seats like trying to make calls like freaking the fuck out searching through their bags for like things like right on everyone in the plane so it's freaking out and they all start yelling the pilot was like what the fuck is going on boo what the fuck is going on
people are booing which makes no sense like this isn't a fucking nickelback concert like why are you booing like you're gonna die like the screen like sheer terror maybe like i don't know people are going and screaming and then all of a sudden the pilot comes on everyone gets quite as fuck they're like what the fuck is this dumbass
motherfucker is about to kill us going to say that he literally comes on for like one second and he's like alright we will be in las vegas and 56 minutes and we r 1100 block miles they're like whatever literally just announces like how far away we are and how many miles we are from las vegas & like the most calm
normal tone and then like goes off and everyone on the plane loses their fucking shit people like a running toward like the pilots cabin people are booing people screaming because we're still just flying into the goddamn pacific ocean i'm just sitting there like this is it like this is how i'm gonna fucking die like this is it i was
born and died with no errors and so that as people going crazy the fucking stewardesses are trying to get people to sit down there literally screaming in the stewardess face this way so that all of a sudden as all of this chaos is happening the entire plane goes for coasting into the ocean like this literally all the way on its side that's
the fastest i've ever moved into playing the fastest i've ever seen a plane do that and literally went from like two flying like honestly like my head was basically laying on like the window the plane was like that far on its side that my head was just like laying on the window flips a bitch all the way like that and turns around and straightens
the plane out and then starts flying back into like the city everyone is still booing and yelling but they're like what the fuck is going on and then the flight attendant comes on and goes i'm sorry everyone i went the wrong way please take your seats and put your seat belts on we will be in las vegas in 46
minutes and just goes off people on the plane are crying southwest wi-fi sales went up by like a fucking thousand they're all buying alive i don't text their fucking loved ones and shit babies are just like so many people stuff is little just like throughout the isles of the plane people rocking back and forth people are breathing in like paper
fucking bags like literally not even getting it wasn't that bad i'm just sitting there like numb obvious it in their bbq sauce on my titties like and then literally just slide the entire life the plane lands as soon as the plane lands everyone is standing and booing and yelling like fuck you don't be fucking die cocksucker
tossing out this fucking idiot pilot he never came out to know anyone by because i think people would have literally like beat his ass and everyone gets off the black sorry i went the wrong way that all you're gonna fucking state to a southwest fucking flight of like hundreds of people that were just bawling their eyes out and screaming and
sheer terror fear for their life sorry i went the wrong way so you like i flew southwest today like you know like sponsor me if you want let us the fuck would you start with lace ok like one bad pilot like you know popcorn gotta have cardinals you know baby alright guys i hope you enjoyed those bad flight airline experiences if you
want me to make this a series or continue to tell my bad airport airline stories experiences i have a fucking million i also have a million hotel ones if you would like to hear those as well so go ahead and let me know in the comments below i hope you guys are enjoying the pink hair you can also let me know if you
liked it like if you don't like put my dick in your mouth you know like whatever i love you guys so fucking much i am so fucking thankful for all of your support i would be nothing without you and i want you to remember that whether you are a new viewer or an old viewer i would be absolutely nothing without you or this family and i will never fucking
and change up on you and fuck anyone who says i have because i'm so the same kind image from when i started this video's i love you guys so much and i really mean that you're my family and i would be nothing without you so i really hope this video made you smile you're going to anything or you just enjoyed the story i love you guys so much and i will
talk to you in the next video bye
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